Well I don't celebrate my birfday but today is my birthday. I am (gulp) 33 years old (gulp). Every year when I was a kid my dad would tell me the story about the day I was born and the two weeks before when I fooled them into thinking I was coming. Those were the days when they shaved you before birth and since I didn't come when I was supposed to my mom got a little irritated-which I totally understand. It was August in Oklahoma...my mom is pregnant with an itchy crotch after being shaved. Sorry mom!
My parents were really hoping for me to be a boy because they already had two adorable little girls. My name was supposed to be Jacob Todd. So I popped onto the scene and my dad said he said 'shit' when he saw I was a girl. Then he said "I felt sooo bad that I said that because you were the cutest tiniest thing." Like I said when I was a kid my dad would tell me this story. Most times I would go to work with him and he would say "Hey come over and be my girlfriend" which meant sit in the middle section in his truck. Then he put his arm around me and would tell me the story and then tell me how much he loved me. They named me after my great grandma who my dad was really close to and loved dearly. My mom thought there was something wrong because I was so tiny because she was used to having big babies - my sister Tabi was 10 pounds at birth. But the doctor assured her I was healthy - just tiny.
Well 33 years later I'm still little and never usually on time - some things never change.
I decided to look up a picture for you all to tell you how I feel today.
I know what you are thinking...what the hell is that! It is something from a David Lynch film is what it is! I showed Jason this picture telling him this is how old I feel and he asked me three times with horror on his face "What is that?" "No...really...what is that?" "Chrystal...what the hell is that!" It is an old haggard lady.
Your welcome for the nightmares you are sure to have from this.